Ah, the Possibilities...

So, today I taught my dance classes...the little ones who have a whole future ahead of them, all they can think about is eating their snack when the class is over. Oh how cute...it's especially cute since they're not my kids, I can give 'em back to their mamas and papas. Yup, I'm still not in a place where I fully like children.

So, I went to the movies last night with a friend-- we went to see "Righteous Kill". It was OK...obviously, DeNiro and Pacino were good, but the story was fairly predictable, and I was really in a mood to see more people get brutally murdered. I wish I could be more descriptive about the movie, and tell you why I felt the way I did about the film, but if I say anything, I'll ruin it for you. It's an OK movie...I'd say, if you've recently had your heart broken, or you are obsessed with De Niro and Pacino in the same movie and have been waiting with bated breath since "Heat", then go check it out. In terms of serious carnage and excitement, Max Payne will have to fill that void when it comes out.

So, the theme of this blog is "possibilities". While I'm not ready to jump into a new relationship, I do think that I need to focus on the possibilities in my life. When I think about the life I had with my ex, it was fun, and special, but I realize now, that it wasn't the be all, end all I thought it was just weeks ago.

I wonder if its better to fight with a guy, be passionate, get angry, and come together, and be involved with his parents and his friends. I think that may be more of what I want. I think about other couples who let parents get in the way of being happy, and I thinkits so so sad, and pathetic. I love my mom, she is EVERYTHING to me, but she will never get in the way of my happiness. The thing is, she loves me, and would never want to stand in the way of my progress. In the past few days I've heard so many stories---we don't go over to his mother's house because...His mother won't even go downstairs to see the grandbaby because...They cut him off because she married...

It's crazy! First of all, the one common thread, I saw, was that mommas of boys, can be major bitches. Yes, I said it. Sometimes they aren't, but yikes...when they are, look out! Whatever, I can't even deal with people who haven't evolved. If you think it's one thing to be friends with someone, but it's another thing to date them and marry them and whatever, that you are part of the problem, not the solution. Those people are hindering our theme of "possibilities", and that is UNACCEPTABLE.

I think of the possibility of being with a man who loves me just the way I am, my silliness, my competitive side, the chattiness, the love of TV, film, loving me, and laughing with me. I think about the possibility of not being hurt or bitter, and being able to have a conversation with my ex, and being able to talk about our relationship without that sting, being able to speak to him when our paths cross.

I don't think about the possibility of being friends, because right now, I think it's important to move forward, and while it was great, and there were really good times, I have friends who are great. I have amazing people in my life who have impacted me and will continue to help me develop into the person I am becoming. Imagine if you were friends with every single ex? Ugh. Pass.

I like focusing on the good things in my life right now. Good friends, good family. Good pet cat, Sebastian. I have a great job, and I'm going to focus on those things, and really focus on what makes me the little special, quirky, weirdo that I am.

For others out there, who have had their hearts broken, I say this: While I still think it's better to have never been in love than to be in the pain that I was in, I do feel that it makes me stronger. Never let a man -- or woman for that matter, break you. While my ex is a good guy, he is just a man, just human. He is no better or worse than any other man or woman in his position. I laugh at the thought that someone out there would think that my silence would mean the end of me, or that I am crouching in a corner, scared to live my life because of this small bump in the road.

We are strong, and capable, and while it may hurt now, and he or she may never walk through the door again., and that's OK. I was fine before my ex, and you will be too. I think getting through this wee has really taught me a lot. It's taught me about what I can accomplish when I just believe in myself, which I didn't have a problem doing before I had a man in my life, and I definitely won't have a problem doing after.

Change is upon us, people! It's time to put up, or shut up. I plan to "work it" everyday. Keep it moving. Don't think about how your ex is doing. If you can't get him or her out of your head, and you wonder if you made the right decision, then maybe it's time to grow a pair and re-examine your life. Otherwise, move on...and while you're at it, leave me the hell alone.

So people, thanks for your comments, and your input. I appreciate all the stories and concern. Just remember, while it is a blog, it's MY blog, and I write what I feel. If you don't like the entry for the day, um...just like a TV show, check out something else. Otherwise, keep reading, and keep passing it on to others!

Go Cowboys!!!