"They"

While there is certainly a lot going on that could be put on the discussion table, I had a conversation with a good friend of mine yesterday that got me thinking. There is a group of people in the world today, with so much power and influence, that it is scary to think about who and what this group has control over. This group has infiltrated every magazine, men and women of all ages and race. This very group has even worked its way into the government. Am I talking about stupid people? Not really...Now you're thinking, Opus Dei?--Negativo, Da Vinci fans. It's not Mormons or those people who try to force the Watchtower and Awakening on you...it's not even...Tom Cruise and the Scientologists.

The group I'm talking about is "They", or as my friend likes to call them, "The People". I'm sure everyone at one point or another has been a member, but there is a difference between, say the general comments one may make with friends, and someone trying to make you be something other than who you are, because of what "they" are saying.

Now, I think it's obvious that a lot of people don't take what "they" say to heart...if they did, no one would be overweight, have bad highlights with roots, clothes would be ironed and would match...and so on and so forth. So why does this group have so much power? I don't know. Personally, I don't like brown and black together. I don't think it matches. No matter what Dior or Von Furstenberg, or Armani say, I don't like it. They will never be able to get me to accept those two colors together...and as I say this, I know someone who wears those colors together like its designer couture. Would I ever say it's bad? No. If the person asks, I say "I don't like it, it's not for me"-- the same could be said about drugs, or say, locking up my hair. Are they bad? Depends on who you ask. But, to try to convince someone one way or another in the name of "they" and "it's because I care-- I know what they'll say" is a form of control, and that my chicadees, went the way of that TV show Joey and Heather Locklear's marriage...and Nicole Richie and DJ AM's relationship...and Paris Hilton's virginity and self-respect.

I guess the point is, nobody's perfect. I have a friend who has amazing skin I would kill for, this chick looks like she's wearing makeup all the time and yet-- she has self image issues. Can you just imagine what she would look like if someone told her that she needs to put on makeup because "they" or "the people" think she would be prettier? She would probably look like a crazy bag lady or high price hooker...which is never a good look, or at least that's what I think...Maybe next year the whore look will be in. While I have very pretty friends, I don't know anyone (myself definitely included) who is perfect enough to try to tell someone anything other than where's the best place to get a philly cheese steak sammich (um, which if you're in the W. Village is Wogies, hands down) or the hot spots to go to at night, and how to look like you enjoy yourself and your company. I like to surround myself with people who don't starve themselves for kicks. I, along with the people I like to associate myself with, just try to "be" ... Plus, hungry people are just sad...and very fragile.

So I say, folks--- wage the war on "they"-- You know who you are. You like salads, he likes chips. She wears a bikini, and you know she can't--well guess, what--- she's knows she shouldn't either. People know deep down what's going on with them. I know my thighs are big. I want to work on it. That's my thing...having the stray hairs in my eyebrows ripped out from above my eyes because "the people" think it's a good idea, well that's just crazy...and while it may not be the "eat people you meet on the internet" (Happened in Germany...recently) crazy, it's not the fun crazy that makes you unique from the "they" who just want you to conform to "their" idea of what is beauty. I say pass...and pass me the sammich. I'd rather just be happy.

...Then again, I'm not married and I live with a cat...so what the hell do I know?

Oh, Why Can't People Just Give You Some Space?

So laziness has kept me away for a couple of weeks. For that, I suck. But in those short couple of weeks, I have seen a few things that I felt the need to share with my 'lil community of readers. Here goes.

I'm on the elevator, going upstairs for breakfast in the cafeteria. Now, the elevator had people in it, but it wasn't full. In fact, there was plenty of space on the other side of this woman, who was practically pressed up against me as if we were in some lesbian Spanish telenovella. All I could think about, was Why won't she move!? I just didn't understand why do these people insist on standing up under you? It's ridiculous. There's room just 1 foot away. We're not lovers, and even though I've showered and I'm "Sure", I still don't want you underneath my left breast. Next time, I suggest everyone just give the close elevators standers (C.E.S.) a little elbow nudge nothing quite WWE, just enough to let them know that you don't want to know what kind of shampoo they do or don't use.

So I was in the store the other day, and I swear, it was $5.00 for 2 light bulbs--that's right, folks, $5 smackeroos for 2 40 watt light bulbs. I just want to say, I don't know when the wild shortage of glass or metal or whatever else a light bulb is made of happened, but I don't want to be a part of a world where the price of a # 2 at McDonald's is the same price as 2 low watt light bulbs. I'll just live in darkness, thank you very much.

Last, I must say, I am having a little bit of trouble with religious zealots lately. I don't understand it. It's everywhere, from Isaac Hayes and Scientology to the weirdo yelling Born Again Christian on the subway on my way to work. In a side note, I know crazy doesn't take a break, but really? 8:45AM? Take a nap or something. Anyway, back to crazy religious zealots. Remember when Tom Cruise was cool? He was an actor, who happened to be a Scientologist. Great for you Tom, really. But, you didn't decide to go cure cancer, or put up dry wall. You wanted to be Maverick, and the guy in Minority Report. You wanted Mission Impossible, and you got it. Isn't it enough that I spend my little entertainment budget on going to see your movies? For pete's sake Tom. Leave me alone. It's enough that you're rich. Just be religious on your own time not while I'm trying to watch the Today Show. As for Isaac Hayes, I have a bone to pick with him. I would just like to say, Isaac, you SUCK. I spend my hard earned money on tickets for your stupid show at the Irving Plaza for my parents Christmas presents. Out of all of the artists, I knew you were one of their favorites. But you get a bad back and postpone. Then, you cancel the show outright. Now, my Christmas present is crap, because you were exhausted. Not too too exhausted to go on a little mini- rant about your beliefs and why you're quitting South Park. Just like I don't care what anyone's sexual preference is, I could care less about your Scientology beliefs actually, I couldn't care less. You sir, are a douche, and not because of your religion, (because I'm sure there are normal everyday members just wishing folks like you and Tom Cruise would stop embarrassing them) but because you're well enough to bitch, but not well enough to do your job singing at concerts. As for that crazy Born-Again guy on the train, well, um you just keep doing what you do brother. As for the rest of us, I suggest we all set our iPods on Play.